S c h o o l   D a y s   O n

N e t a d e l i c a

Did you go to Cheltenham Bournside comprehensive school, England in the early to mid 1980s? Well then, relive those heady school days by pondering, at interminable length, my timetables for years 1 to 4!

"Why would I want to do that?" you ask. Good question; I can't think of a reason. This may well be one of the most useless pages on the Web. I hope so.

First Year

Heavy briefcases, twisty maze; homework, big kids and awe. The first year was a bewildering labryinth that promised the 'adult world' but delivered mostly threats of caning, and grazed knees. Promising young pupil but "must apply himself harder".

1P1 (Autumn 1979)
9.05 9.15 9.50 10.25 11.00 11.35 11.50 12.25 1.00 2.10 2.35 3.10 3.45
Mon R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 History
K.9		 English
K.9		 R.E.
K.9		 Music
M.10		 B
r
e
a
k		 French
B1.14		 Maths
B1.14		 L
u
n
c
h		 R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 Science C.15 H
o
m
e
t
i
m
e
Tue Geography
B1.16		 French
K.7		 Art
F.4		 History
B1.18		 P.E. Maths
K.11		 French
B2.10
Wed Metalwork
W.3		 Geography
B1.16		 English
K.17		 Maths
K.7		 Music
M.10		 Maths
K.28		 English
K.28
Thurs P.E. R.E.
K.7		 French
K.28		 English
Library		 Maths
K.28		 History
K.7		 Science
C.4
Fri English
K.28		 French
B.25		 Geography
K.7		 English
K.7		 Games French
K.7		 Maths
K.7

Second Year

Fighting, detention, getting "clever" with the teachers and discovering a fantastic way of making oneself sneeze at will. "Must apply himself harder if he is to realise his potential". Discovered a natural ability to cover ground at speed; press-ganged into athletics.

2P1 (Autumn 1980)
8.45 9.10 9.45 10.20 10.55 11.30 11.45 12.20 12.55 1.55 2.05 2.40 3.15
Mon R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 French
B2.10		 English
K.18		 History
K.7		 Maths
A.23		 B
r
e
a
k		 Music
M.18		 English
K.18		 L
u
n
c
h		 R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 Science
C.12		 H
o
m
e
t
i
m
e
Tue French
B2.14		 PEP
 History
K.9		 Geography
A.14		 English
B.28		 Maths
B.19		 Science
C.5
Wed French
B2.14		 English
Library		 Maths
C.22		 French
B.25		 Metalwork
W.3		 History
A.13		 RER
C.22
Thurs Music
M.18		 Maths
K.18		 English
K.18		 French
B2.13		 Games
 Maths
B2.13		 Geography
A.14
Fri Art
 RER
B.22		 French
B2.14		 Geography
B1.10		 English
K.18		 PEP
 Maths
B.16

Third Year

Hand drawn cartoons on request, Rubik's cube, dreams of owning a Commodore Pet. Fastest thing on two legs ("runs like a demented camel" said our mustachioed PE sergeant). Girls! Regular gifts of lines and detentions.

3P1 (Autumn 1981)
8.45 9.10 9.45 10.20 10.55 11.30 11.45 12.20 12.55 1.55 2.05 2.40 3.15
Mon R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 History
 Geography
 English
 French
 B
r
e
a
k		 Games
 L
u
n
c
h		 R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 Maths
 English
 H
o
m
e
t
i
m
e
Tue Chemistry
 English
 Geography
 Technical Drawing
 Maths
 French
Wed Art
 Maths
 R.E.
 Physics
 French
 Maths
Thurs English
 History
 Woodwork
 FBE
 P.E.
 Maths
 Geography
Fri P.E.
 History
 Music
 French
 Biology
 English
 Maths

Fourth Year

The golden year. Discovered The Young Ones before anyone else in the entire world. Thoroughly enjoyed hormonally induced mania and frenzy. Covered ground for my county. Acquired an Oric-1. Fine tuned teacher-baiting skills. Gorgeous.

4P1 (Autumn 1982)
8.45 9.10 9.45 10.20 10.55 11.30 11.45 12.20 12.55 1.55 2.05 2.40 3.15
Mon R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 English
C.28		 Technical Drawing
W.9		 B
r
e
a
k		 Maths
K.28		 L
u
n
c
h		 R
e
g
i
s
t
r
a
t
i
o
n		 Games
 H
o
m
e
t
i
m
e
Tue Biology
Lecture theatre		 French
B2.7		 History
B1.18		 English
B2.8
Wed Physics
W.9		 Maths
B1.14		 Geography
B1.16		 Technical Drawing
W.9
Thurs English
B1.10		 P.E.
 General period
(R.E./Music)		 English
K.7		 Physics
C1.18		 Geography
B1.16
Fri Maths
B.29		 Biology
C.11		 French
B2.10/B2.7		 History
B1.18

Fifth Year

No records exist of this period. We believe a natural disaster, such as earthquake, meteorite or volcanic eruption, may have occurred to conceal evidence of life during this era. As we develop more sophisticated detection technology, I may find the timetable down the back of the settee or something. My report would have said "James must apply himself", anyway.

The Teachers

Teacher Subject Notable Characteristics
Miss Workman English Northern Irish accent made her say unfortunate things like: "Sit dine!" and "That's enoff nye!"
Mr Bowden Maths "My name is Mr BOOOWDEN". He could sketch a mean koala.
Ms ? Chemistry Welsh and sexy as hell. Knew the power of bared armpits.
Ms Wren Music The Ice Queen. Our 4/5th year tutor. No compassion, no mercy.
Mr Adams Technical Drawing Liked the word "lacksidaisical". Gave off strange vibes.
Mrs Stears History "It doesn't matter if you don't pay attention, you'll absorb the information anyway, like you do when you're asleep".
Mr Batey Maths "Cease nattering!" Endless 'Master Batey' jokes, naturally.
Mr Barret Biology Hip dude; one of the few with a sense of humour.
Mr Duffelyn Geography "[my name], you're an idiot! What are you?" We lived on different wavelengths.
Mr Harvard Physics Bought one of the first Mini Metros; they were recalled.
Mr Squires Woodwork Bristling eyebrows. Tweed. Old-school.
Mr Lloyd French Francophile Anthony Hopkins. He was Welsh, too.
Mr Murphy P.E. Everything you could want in a P.E. teacher. Born to it.
Mr Rees P.E. Everything you hate in P.E. teachers. Knuckle-scraping sadist.
Miss Barron English Scatty, skittish, high-energy eccentric. Loved her to bits.
Miss ? R.E. Peroxide Christian; hated children.
Mrs ? Art Frumpy overalls high art fashion; fantastic.

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